Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
