this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
