I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
