btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
