yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
