One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
