i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
