i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
