If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
