I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
