So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
