i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
