I'm so fucking centered right now
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
