Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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