you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize