I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
