do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
