Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
