Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
