Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
