You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
