ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
