At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
