K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Randomize