You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
