Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize