am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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