4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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