thus making me awesome and them whores
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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