I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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