I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
