would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
