Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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