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i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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