They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Randomize
