His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
