Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
