He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
