i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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