he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
