i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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