READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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