i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
