i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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