bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize