So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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