And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
