Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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