did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
