You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
