careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
