It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
there is puke in my bra ... again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
