PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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