I'm lost and stupid without you.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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