There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
