dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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