What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize