He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
